Sunday, March 07, 2004

--> I've never had one of these so bare with me. It will not be updated that often because I don't have internet at home. Every other week is when it will be updated im pretty sure.<--

Well, today, I woke up late, as usual, got my lazy butt out of bed and got dressed. Made french toast and then went outside and worked in the yard all day. We just dragged a bunch of wood into the garden and lit it on fire. yay?. Then came inside and went online, cuz there isnt anything else to do.

Lemme fill you in on my life at the moment. Quite dramatic if you ask me, which i hate, but anyways. So here i am, liking this kid, which doesnt happen very often because im self conscious and all that. So anyways, i like this kid right, but he doesnt like me and i dont blame him. He likes another girl whos like so much better then i am. So i gave up. I quit. Im better off just ignoring those feelings i have cuz nothing will ever happen between us, Because im Me and well yea. Plus, i had all these family problems, and i shouldnt say had because its not like theyve gone away. so i Have all these family problems causin me to move to my dads(not by choice). and its not that i dont love my dad, believe me i do, but i hate it there. Im completely miserable and depressed. So my friend iggy tells me she has an extra room. so im like great,one problem solved. i wait for like two weeks, stressed out about asking dad, and finally i do. He flips out on me and tells me absolutely not and that he doesnt care if im not happy... pretty fucked up. Whole drama scene in the car. Then tells me taht i cant live in townsend or ashby but hell send me to private school up here if i want. WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO GO TO PRIVATE SCHOOL? MY FRIENDS DONT GO TO PRIVATE SCHOOL.and on top of the friends thing, im doing pretty bad in my new school. its gay and the people are dramatic and stuck up, and even tho ive known them since 5th grade, i still dont like most of them. So pretty much, i sit in my room after school and think about how much i hate billerica. If i had a car, id drive there, but i dont, so i cant. Pretty much, that just adds to how much i hate my life. I know your not going to understand why i hate my life because theres stuff that i dotn talk about and theres stuff i dont want people knowing about my life. So dont think im just whining about my existance for attention. I just really needed to get it out. But now i feel like a baby for sharing my thoughts. So im gonna shut up now and just stop writing, you can draw your own conclusion from this entry. I dont care.

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